She's awkwardly tall; don't you think?

I could say so many things right now...

According to PerezHilton.com, there were rumors in May of Bam Margera and wife, Missy, filing for divorce, while Kat Von D was dating Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx just months ago. Yet, here they are leaving a Los Angeles night club.

I don't care that these 2 are dating; they're just the right amount of cool and ugly for each other. What I like about this photo is that Bam and I make the same face when we look at her hair.

Just one more reason to hate the Jersey Shore

According to TheSuperficial.com, here's Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi waddling around Miami Beach in her $350 Jason Burke sunglasses. Not only does this make me want to starve myself then become an ex-patriot, but it should make everyone in Jersey want to off themselves. Even though they should have done it already for so many other reasons...

Dammit- now we have to hide our porn stars, waitresses AND daughters...

In a story that is almost as shocking as Ricky Martin's love of penis, RadarOnline is claiming that Tiger Woods also slept with his neighbor's 21-year old daughter:

"Coudriet is now 22 and recently confronted Tiger when all his mistresses were revealed because she was furious she was just another conquest, according to the new issue of the National Enquirer.
The Enquirer says that Tiger and Raychel began making out within sight of his house while Elin was home. They then had sex in a private office Tiger keeps nearby."

Recap: Tiger married to supermodel; they have child; meaning they have sex; 21-year old whore neighbor has sex with married Tiger; furious he has sex with other women.

And that my friends, is why Ricky turned to men. And you thought this was a story about Tiger... I just M. Night Shyamalan twisted the shit out of this post! In your face!

Who would you rather- Jon Gosselin or Michael Lohan?

Wrong! Ex-Jon Gosselin slop-whore, Kate Major, who actually quit her job with Star magazine in order to screw herself to the top... just screwed herself, period.

I know 8 stepkids sounded like a bit much but being engaged to a Lohan is pretty much the same thing... except it's like all 8 of them are wasted all the time and one records all of your conversations for his twitter.

My favorite part of all this douchebagginess is Lindsay's reaction of course. According to UsWeekly.com, when they broke the news to Lindsay Lohan, she replied:

"I'm gonna vomit. I so didn't need that info...Yuck!"

Unfortunately for UsWeekly's source, Lindsay wasn't referring to the "breaking story"; that vomit feeling just comes naturally after her lunch of cocaine and vodka.

I guess she's off the coke?

Didn't this chick used to be skinny?

Yep, I thought so. Here's Mushy-ass Barton who used to be on the OC but who now just looks like a pudgy Lindsay Lohan with less fashion sense. Just proof that rehab isn't always the answer.

That being said, she's probably on suicide watch right about now.

Because Mischa Barton reads my blog... like everyday!

Did Starbucks run out of coffee? It's my only explanation...

Here's the Britney we know and love i.e. bat-shit crazy Britney, shopping in L.A.

I have no real reason for posting this picture except to say, Jesus fucking Christ! Are you not rich? Do you not have stylists? Brush your damn hair and wear real clothes. You look like a 27-year old cabbage patch doll.

Kids do the darndest things

By now we all know the controversy surrounding Jermaine Jackson's son, Jaafar, shooting one of Michael's sons with a stun gun... which was probably well deserved (just throwin it out there).

Turns out this isn't Jaafar's first run in with gun controversy. According to reports, TMZ.com has a home video showcasing the lil man's love for violence:

"The scene -- which appears to have been shot several months ago -- begins with Jaafar barging into Jermajesty's room, Airsoft gun drawn, and then ordering his little brother to get on the ground. Jaafar pushes Jermajesty to the ground, pretends to pistol-whip him, handcuffs him and then gives the youngster an incomplete version of his Miranda rights."

"Jaafar then tells his brother, "Don't move or I'll bust your head open."Jaafar then cocks the gun, points it to Jermajesty's head, pulls the trigger and you hear the click. Jermajesty plays dead and Jaafar drags him by the leg out of the room."

This kid is obviously the biggest namist on the face of the Earth (if there is such a thing). He likes shooting at kids with pussy names like "Jermajesty" and "Blanket", pretty badass if you ask me. I can only hope Jaafar gets a taser for his birthday and heads straight for Brad and Angelina's house.