Spencer Pratt: Single & Ready to Mingle

Heidi has filed for separation from her long-time boyfriend/husband/captor Spencer Pratt. And while the whole thing is really just a stunt to promote some sad excuse for a reality show that will definitely be picked up be E! I'll play into the bs for the sake of blogging.

Look, I'm not a fan of devil albino ginger beard any more than you are. But I always kind of felt like Heidi and Spencer were a package deal. Besides, without him, who will move Heidi's eyebrows up and down to give her some semblance of facial expression?

It's like that movie twins!

I would have yelled for Paris to watch out... but to be honest it would be my dream come true to wake up and find that Snooki showed up to an awards show hungry and ate paris Hilton, then died from herpes-like food poisoning.

Evidently, my hopes and dreams will again go unrealized since rumor has it these two became friends after meeting at Sunday's MTV Movie Awards.

It makes sense though, now that Nicole Ritchie got skinny and stopped being a drunken whore with bad hair, Paris needed a new BFF to make her look skinny and slightly less infected.

Does the word slut only apply after the age of 18?

After receiving some criticism over a risque performance in London, Miley Cyrus took to her blog:

"I had such a blast and was so honored to be on that stage. That being said during my performance I supposedly “KISSED A GIRL” and this is the newest thing to cause controversy. I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story. I really hope my fans are not disappointed in me because the truth is I did nothing wrong. I got up there and did my job which is to perform to the best of my ability. I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal.GET OVER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE ARE WAYYYYYYY MORE IMPORTANTTHINGS IN THE WORLD. Lets start focusing a little less on making up ignorant rumors and focus a little more on world peace! We gotta a lot of work to do if we wan this earth to be here much longer. Lets make a change! It wouldn’t hurt the world to show a little more love."

I feel like I need to blame Billy Ray for this blog post just as much as I blame him for the whore that popped out of his wife's vagina. Because when you're faced with bad press... Americans just wanna hear you spout off some crap about Wal-mart or world peace... works everytime. It's like she just transformed into an angel with rollback prices!

Jessica Simpson eats the First Lady!!!

Oops, did I say eats? I meant admires... she admires the First Lady.

Here's the walking pile of chicken tuna herself, attending the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Why you ask? I have no effing clue, ask our dumb-dick President why the spokesperson of stupid was invited.

At the dinner Jessica raved about Michelle Obama stating "I really do (admire her)." "She's such an incredible woman, and she's with such a powerful man".

Thank you for pointing out the obvious Ms. Simpson; oh, and for making young girls believe if they just marry power, they can be looked up to by fat D-list celebrities too.


God I love America.

The most unexpected and inconceivable story ever told... EVER!

I know this is shocking as hell guys but just bear with me because I'm totally not making this up... Kendra, blonde former Playboy Playmate, has... a sex tape.


I know, I know, it does not make any sense that a woman, who spent the past few years gaining fame by sticking old wrinkly balls in her mouth and saying stupid shit on tv, would even make a raunchy video recording of sexual acts. But it's true.


And while Kendra claims to be "devastated" and "humiliated" by the tape, according to sources:


"Documents acquired by RadarOnline.com confirm that the Playboy pinup was in the process of releasing the tapes herself over a year and a half ago! According to the documents, a company (which Wilkinson would own and control) would be
formed and Wilkinson's team would shop the tape around soliciting offers. Wilkinson would also be able to mandate how the tape would be edited before it was sent to potential buyers."

While this will definitely put the newly chubby Kendra back in the spotlight and boost ratings on her horrible reality show... I'm not even going to pretend that this was her idea. Come on, we're talking about a woman who's about a step above Jessica Simpson in the smarts department... and that's not saying much.


All I have to say is thank God she made the tape before giving birth, because you can't even try to pretend like after you pop a child out, men's penises do a double take anymore.

Men in bikinis... it's all the rage

Actually, that guy's not half ba-- Oh My God!

Here's Brooke Hogan giving surf lessons last Saturday. I just don't understand why a woman who's the splitting image of a balding WWF wrestler would want to show it off in skimpy swim suits.

I'm no Einstein, but I'm pretty sure this picture defies some kind of science.

She kissed a girl and she liked- wait, how is this different from any other day?

Here's MTV Jersey Shore's Snooki and J-Woww doing what they do best down in Miami... parading around like effing whores and getting paid for it.

How do I get this job by the way?