Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Beyonce birthed something- someone give her a cookie

This past Saturday night, Jay-Z and Beyonce welcomed their first child, daughter, Blue Ivy Carter.

Rumors surfaced immediately after that Blue Ivy was helped along with a C-section, but according to TMZ, Jay and B released a statement assuring that the baby was born naturally "at a healthy 7 lbs and it was the best experience of both of our lives."

They also decided to add in that "her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful, we are in heaven."

Wait, peaceful? That's the word you chose to describe pushing a 7-pound object "naturally" out of your vag? I scraped my knee yesterday and there was nothing "peaceful" about it- it hurt like a bitch. If I had to come up with a word to describe childbirth, I would start with the listing under "worst fucking pain known to humanity" in the thesaurus and go from there.

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