Friday, May 7, 2010

Jessica Simpson eats the First Lady!!!

Oops, did I say eats? I meant admires... she admires the First Lady.

Here's the walking pile of chicken tuna herself, attending the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Why you ask? I have no effing clue, ask our dumb-dick President why the spokesperson of stupid was invited.

At the dinner Jessica raved about Michelle Obama stating "I really do (admire her)." "She's such an incredible woman, and she's with such a powerful man".

Thank you for pointing out the obvious Ms. Simpson; oh, and for making young girls believe if they just marry power, they can be looked up to by fat D-list celebrities too.

God I love America.

The most unexpected and inconceivable story ever told... EVER!

I know this is shocking as hell guys but just bear with me because I'm totally not making this up... Kendra, blonde former Playboy Playmate, has... a sex tape.

I know, I know, it does not make any sense that a woman, who spent the past few years gaining fame by sticking old wrinkly balls in her mouth and saying stupid shit on tv, would even make a raunchy video recording of sexual acts. But it's true.

And while Kendra claims to be "devastated" and "humiliated" by the tape, according to sources:

"Documents acquired by confirm that the Playboy pinup was in the process of releasing the tapes herself over a year and a half ago! According to the documents, a company (which Wilkinson would own and control) would be
formed and Wilkinson's team would shop the tape around soliciting offers. Wilkinson would also be able to mandate how the tape would be edited before it was sent to potential buyers."

While this will definitely put the newly chubby Kendra back in the spotlight and boost ratings on her horrible reality show... I'm not even going to pretend that this was her idea. Come on, we're talking about a woman who's about a step above Jessica Simpson in the smarts department... and that's not saying much.

All I have to say is thank God she made the tape before giving birth, because you can't even try to pretend like after you pop a child out, men's penises do a double take anymore.

Men in bikinis... it's all the rage

Actually, that guy's not half ba-- Oh My God!

Here's Brooke Hogan giving surf lessons last Saturday. I just don't understand why a woman who's the splitting image of a balding WWF wrestler would want to show it off in skimpy swim suits.

I'm no Einstein, but I'm pretty sure this picture defies some kind of science.

She kissed a girl and she liked- wait, how is this different from any other day?

Here's MTV Jersey Shore's Snooki and J-Woww doing what they do best down in Miami... parading around like effing whores and getting paid for it.

How do I get this job by the way?